There is a certain look that musicians and lucky, observant DJs see from time to time. It is so rare, so incredibly special that it eludes only the most talented photographers. I have seen it a half-dozen times over the years, and would love to capture it in a photo or video, but to do so would spoil the moment, and it would be gone. If you have ever found yourself sitting outdoors when a curious hummingbird floats in the air an arm's reach away just...well, checking you out, you know what I mean by rare, scarce, and fleeting. If you move to grab your smart phone to snap a picture of the encounter...ziiiip, the hummingbird is gone.

Yeah, it's just like that.


What is "the look?" It's the momentary eye-contact you make with one of the partners dancing to a slow song that says, in a way that transcends words:

                    "This is...so perfect. Thank you..."  

The conditions that set the stage for "the look" are not so unusual that they can't be re-created at every event, the better to have the camera standing by. But to try and capture it would display an appalling lack of appreciation for the intimate nature of the encounter. It's like encountering a deer on a hiking trail. Enjoy the moment, but you can't preserve it. So I can play a certain select playlist, lower the lighting levels, and hope that the music and ambiance moves someone. "The Look" doesn't belong on Facebook, or Instagram.

There is one song that has evoked the look more often than any other. "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Cryin" by Gerry & The Pacemakers. Don't know why. I have more romantic tunes to be sure, but there is something about this one...maybe it's the oboe. I have a theory that because this song is associated with some macro-level event that links the tune to the dancer's deeply embedded memories on an unconscious level. The tune came out in 1964, so JFK's assassination was a recent event from the previous year. The Tonkin Gulf Incident took place in 1964, leading to an enormous increase in US troops being sent to Viet Nam. Civil Rights unrest reached a new level culminating in the murder of three civil rights activists in Mississippi. 

Most of "the looks" come from men, and nearly always they are in their 60s or older. They are dancing with someone their age, and I am guessing the dance partners are married, and have been so for a long, long time. I can almost picture them dancing to a slow song at college, or many high school prom. Maybe he has received his draft notice, or is climbing on a bus for boot camp the next morning. Maybe she is going off to college and this is possibly the last dance they both believe they will ever share. It's easy to romanticize the backstory behind "the look" because we have seen the story countless times in our boomer lifespan. On the silver screen. Television. Popular music. So, what's to say that my theory isn't accurate.

Want to make a DJ's night? Wait for a slow song, later in the evening when the dance floor is nearly empty. Find that special someone and put your arms around them on the dance floor. Keep your eye on the DJ....wait for it...

                        "This is...so perfect. Thank you..."